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Women Don't Ask: The High Cost of Avoiding Negotiation--and Positive Strategies for Change, by Linda Babcock, Sara Laschever
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Combining fascinating research with revealing commentary from hundreds of women, this groundbreaking book explores the personal and societal reasons women seldom ask for what they need, want, and deserve at home and at work–and shows how they can develop this crucial skill.
By neglecting to negotiate her starting salary for her first job, a woman may sacrifice over half a million dollars in earnings by the end of her career. Yet, as research reveals, men are four times more likely to ask for higher pay than are women with the same qualifications. From career promotions to help with child care, studies show time and again that women don’t ask–and frequently don’t even realize that they can. Women Don’t Ask offers real-life examples of the differences between the negotiating habits of men and women, and guides women in retooling their attitudes and approaches. Discover how to:
• Take the first step–choosing to negotiate at all
• Develop a comfortable, effective negotiation style
• Overcome fear, personal entitlement issues, and gender stereotypes
- Sales Rank: #12937 in Books
- Brand: Babcock, Linda/ Laschever, Sara
- Published on: 2007-02-27
- Released on: 2007-02-27
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.97" h x .60" w x 5.98" l, .58 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 272 pages
Review
Babcock and Laschever, contrary to their book's title, do ask a series of questions: Why do most women see a negotiation as an automatic fight instead of a chance to get what they deserve? Why are women afraid to ask for what they deserve? Why are women afraid to ask for what they want in the workplace? And perhaps most importantly, why donB9t women feel entitled to ask for it. . .? [A] great resource for anyone who doubts there is still a great disparity between the salary earnings of men and women in comparable professions
"Women Don't Ask" offers important insights into the persistent economic gap between men and women. -- Dolores Kong "Boston Globe"
Neither a dry academic treatise nor a self-help book, this work puts forth a model for a society that respects women's communication strengths.
This thoughtful analysis could both benefit managers across industry lines and help women learn the importance of developing negotiating skills.
The first book to adequately explain the dramatic differences in how men and women negotiate and why women so often fail to ask for what they want at work (starting with equal pay). Every male manager in America should read it.
A highly readable book. . . . "Women Don't Ask" should be read by anyone with a fear of negotiating, male or female, and by managers who want a better understanding of how 47 percent of the work force confronts the workplace. -- Alan B. Krueger "The New York Times"
Clear, useful, and sensibly organized. . . . "Women Don't Ask" crisply describes the results of one study after another, fitting the puzzle pieces together to show how and why women are held backBand hold themselves back--from advancing both financially and in every other way. -- E.J. Graff "Women's Review of Books"
"Women Don't Ask" is not a straight recitation of findings--nor is it simply a "rant." It goes beyond well-known facts and offers concrete tips on how women can remedy the underlying problems and actually move ahead. The authors prescribe refreshingly specific methods of negotiation that they've seen work for even the most confrontationally-challenged women. -- Allison Nazarian "ForeWord Magazine"
From the Inside Flap
""Women Don't Ask" helps women learn how to communicate their desires. This is absolutely essential and basic information since we can't read brainwaves. Speak up or surrender your goals!"--Patricia Schroeder, President & CEO, Association of American Publishers
""Women Don't Ask" does an amazing job in identifying and providing solutions to a very real issue: the challenges women face in negotiating. Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever have done a superb job not only in highlighting the problem of gender differences in negotiation but also in providing ways to begin fixing it. Example after example of the financial and emotional impacts make this issue extremely compelling. Any senior manager needs to be aware of the significant ramifications both in and out of the workplace. I highly recommend "Women Don't Ask" as a must read for executives--female and male."--Jim Berrien, President and Publisher, Forbes Magazine Group
"In this brilliant book Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever provide readers with the means not only of navigating the difficulties of negotiation, but also of fully engaging a modern world where traditional roles and norms are receding and business dealing has become more important. By looking at negotiation through the lens of gender, Babcock and Laschever explain why we-men and women alike--develop our skills as negotiators, and in so doing they instruct us on how to become better negotiators. By illuminating negotiation through the real-life experiences of women and men, Babcock and Laschever underscore that most important lesson in all of negotiating: that the best deal is the deal that works best for all parties."--Robert J. Shiller, author of "IrrationalExuberance" and "The New Financial Order"
"Women don't ask the important questions that will make them successful--but Babcock and Laschever do. This is an important study of how women can become their own best advocates by knowing how to ask for exactly what they want in their public and private lives. The secret is in believing that one can negotiate almost anything. Venus and Mars, bosses and tyros: this is the book you need to bring peace and happiness to every relationship."--Harriet Rubin, author of "The Princessa: Machiavelli for Women"
"This book is an eye opener, a call to arms, and a plan for action; it is enlightening, unsettling, and, ultimately, inspiring. Although women have made great strides in American society, the reality is that, since the 1990s, progress has slowed to almost a standstill. Gracefully and with humor, Linda Babcock and Sara Laschever tell a riveting story about an invisible problem that's been hiding in plain sight: one major reason that women still work for less money and advance less far and less fast than men is that women themselves have accepted the status quo and refrained from asking for more than they're offered and for less than they need or deserve. They make the novel--and important--point that negotiation may be one of feminism's final frontiers. Of all the books about the roadblocks our society erects in women's paths, this one may prove to be the most useful in everyday life."--Teresa Heinz
""Women Don't Ask" is a compelling and fresh look at the gender-in-negotiation question. Practitioners can act on the advice in the book, and researchers will be asking new questions for decades. This book will fundamentally change how wethink."--Max H. Bazerman, Harvard Business School
"Eye-opening and riveting."--Virginia Valian, Hunter College, City University of New York
"The authors offer advice that is practical and likely to result in desired changes for women who want to be able to accomplish more in multiple spheres of their lives."--Kathleen L. McGinn, Harvard University
About the Author
Linda Babcock is James M. Walton Professor of Economics at the H. John Heinz III School of Public Policy and Management of Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. She has also been a visiting professor at Harvard Business School, The Unicersity of Chicago Graduate School of Business, and the California Institute of Technology. A specialist in negotiation and dispute resolution, her research has appeared in the most prestigious economics, inductrial relations, and law journals.
Sara Laschever's work has been published by the New York Times, the New York Review of Books, and Vogue, among other publications. She was also the principal interviewer for Project Access, a landmark Harvard University srudy on women in science careers funded by the National Science Foundation. She lives in Concord, Mass.
Most helpful customer reviews
54 of 56 people found the following review helpful.
Good set up for "Ask For It"
By SF Native
This book does a wonderful job of sharing all the research which explains why women are less likely to negotiate, less likely to ask for what they want, and less likely to get what they want. However, what's missing from this book is how women can overcome these barriers. The sequel to this book, "Ask For It", does a great job answering that question. If you're looking for ideas of how to improve woman's likelihood to negotiate and a woman's likelihood to ask, buy the sequel. If you're interested in WHY women are less likely to ask, stick with this book!
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
great gift
By Amazon Customer
I have bought 8 copies of this book. I gift it to young women who are starting their career. I have presented it to recent high-school and college grads who have found it valuable.
20 of 20 people found the following review helpful.
Got me an 18% salary increase
By OneHeart
After reading this book, I made myself endure moments of discomfort so I could act on what I learned. Result: a higher income. Women, it's OK to ask. Just do it nicely. Ask for what you want, in a calm, neutral voice, then be silent. Really zip it. You'll want to speak more, but don't. Wait quietly as events unfold in your favor. Actually, scratch that. Ask for more than what you want. Then ... hush. I have given this advice to friends, who also then got salary increases.
There's more to this book than that: I learned so much about gender differences that surprised me and discovered that my lack of insight was in fact harming me, unnecessarily. Another key takeaway: Don't negotiate or talk like a man. We have to conduct ourselves in the feminine style that is actually quite natural to us, as it turns out. This book validates and elucidates that style, making it easier to do what's natural more confidently and with best possible results.
I tell my closest friends this is a must-read. The one warning I'd give: It's detailed in its presentation of the research that unearthed the authors' insights, which for me was a plus. I think it was very well done. But some people may find it border-line academic in tone. *Some* people, that is. i didn't.
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